Title: Left to Tell
Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust
Author: Immaculee Ilibagize with Steve Erwin
Publisher: Hay House
Copyright: 2006
Review Score: 5.00 
Summary:
Left to Tell is Immacule Iligabiza's amazing story about her escape from mass murder during the 1994 Rwandan holocaust, which she accomplished by hiding out in a tiny secret bathroom for 91 days with seven other girls and women. During this period Iligabiza learned how to transcend her fear and physical suffering by communing deeply with God. Ultimately she experienced profound inner peace, grace and forgiveness-- not inspite of her ordeal, but because of it.
For purposes of better understanding Iligabiza's story, it's helpful to know that Rwanda is a country located in central Africa, about the same size as the state of Maryland. It has a total population of 9 million mostly poor citizens who live on less than $2,000 per person per year. Two tribes dominate. The Hutus account for about 85% of the population and Tutsis account for about 14% of the population. Iligabiza is a Tutsi. Her parents and two of her three brothers were killed during a 100-day period when 1 million Tutsi's were murdered.
Message of Love:
Commune with God to transcend suffering
Score: 5.00
This book is highly recommended because Iligabiza demonstrates how the harshest condition can be exploited to bring more light into consciousness. The translation of Iligabiza's name means "shining and beautiful in body and soul," and she is true to it. At the end of the book Ilibagiza says "the love of a single heart can make a world of difference," and we are extremely fortunate to have Iligabiza as a role model for dealing with fearful and seemingly desperate conditions.
Inspiration:
Score: 5.00
Hutu Power was the call to action to exterminate the Tutsi cockroaches: "Kill then, kill them, kill them all; kill them big, kill them small." At the start of the holocaust, Iligabiza's brothers begged her to stay with Pastor Murinzi because she would be raped and killed if the Hutu's caught her. Murinzi agreed to hide Iligabiza and 6 other women, including a 7 year-old, in his tiny 4x3 bathroom. The bathroom had a shower stall and a toilet, but no space for a sink and no space for the women to all sit at one time. Smaller girls sat on laps, and they all took turns switching positions every 12 hours. Even moving an inch was a major production.
"No one must know that you're here, not even my children," warned Murinzi. So no one ever cried or talked, and the women could only flush the toilet when another toilet somewhere else in the house was being flused. They learned a simple sign language to wordlessly communicate. They also figured out how to ignore each other's bodily functions, odors and monthly periods. "It all seemed rather trivial in comparison to staying alive." Once a day the pastor brought them table scraps or whatever got tossed in the garbage.
While the war droned on outside the bathroom, Iligabiza strugged with an internal war: dark energy versus prayer. She experienced ongoing physical and mental torture and constantly worried what would happen to her if she was found by the Hutus. Sometimes her mind was filled with hatred and the desire to make the Hutu extremists suffer, die and burn in hell. While other times Iligabiza thought about God and His great love for her. "I begged God to fill me with His light and strength and to cast out the dark energy from my heart." Connecting with God was the only way that Iligabiza could find relief. Consequently, she resolved to pray during every waking moment. Her praying began as soon as she woke up around 4 or 5 a.m. and lasted 15-20 hours until she went to sleep. She even dreamed about God. Prayer was the only place Iligabiza could be alone. It was her sacred garden. "All I could do was pray, so that's what I did."
"In the midst of genocide, I'd found my salvation. I knew that my bond with God would transcend the bathroom, the war, and the holocaust . . . it was a bond I now knew would transcend life itself...I sat stone-still on that dirty floor for hours on end, contemplating the purity of His energy while the force of His love flowed through me like a sacred river, cleansing my soul and easing my mind. Sometimes I felt as though I were floating above my body."
During the hiding period, Iligabiza lost a total of 40 pounds, and she only weighed about 115 to begin with. She also got a vicious infestation of body lice over her entire body. Despite her physical problems, each day Iligabiza thanked God for giving her life and for making her feel loved and cherished. When the holocaust was over, Iligabiza was sent to refugee camps, and at long last she was presented with the opportunity to meet Felicien, the gang leader who killed her mother and brother, who was now in prison. Felicien was filthy, bruised, broken and embarassed. His feet had open running sores and he was emaciated. Iligabiza reached out, touched his hands and said "I forgive you." When her friends asked her how she could do that, Iligabiza said "forgiveness is all I have to offer."
Eventually Iligabiza was reunited with her one remaining brother, Aimable, and started working at the U.N. in New York City. She met and married Bryan Black and now has a daughter and son. "Every morning when I wake up to my two little angels, I can see the beauty and power of God in their faces. I never stop thanking Him for all His precious gifts."
Practicality/Relevance:
Score: 5.00
Unlike many other real-life storyteller victims, Iligabiza is not stuck in the unhappy rut of tainting her present with her past. The typical "victim" (who isn't really a victim because we either create or allow everything that happens to us) expends a lot of time and energy consantly analyzing the event, questioning why it happened, attempting to imbue it with meaning, and re-living it. Payback is sought in the form of justice or revenge. And happiness or peace cannot be experienced until the big scoreboard of life is made even.
We see that Iligabiza has the same negative, hateful thoughts as everyone else on the planet, but we also see something radically differnt: she does not keep them! Iligabiza points another way by chosing to connect with God and to focus on more uplifting ideas. There is no end to the value of Iligabiza's shining example. On behalf of all earthlings, I extend our collective gratitude to you, most beautiful Immacule Iligabiza.
Organization/Readability:
Score: 5.00
Left to tell is clearly written. It holds your interest and explains events in a chronological, easy-to-follow order. Iligabiza stays focused on telling her story in a simple and pure way. She doesn't have an ax to grind. She is't trying to convert anyone. And she isn't trying to change the world.
